The final weeks of summer herald a return to school. For many, both children and their caregivers, this time of year also brings added worries concerning smooth transitions and supporting our children, especially those who may be more anxious by nature.
Understanding the Anxiety Cycle
Cycles of anxiety can be hard to break, and school time is no exception. Generally, the cycle of anxiety starts with an anxiety-producing situation (such as starting a new school or grade), leading to uncomfortable symptoms. Parents may notice some red flags indicating a child’s anxiety is causing significant distress, including:
- Continually seeking reassurance or asking repeated questions
- Tantrums when separating from caregivers to attend school
- Difficulty getting along with or withdrawing from family members or friends
- Avoidance of normal activities in and out of school
- Fatigue, taking longer to fall asleep, waking parents during the night
- Difficulty concentrating
- Extreme mood swings or expressing feelings of hopelessness, despair, and worthlessness
- Loss of appetite or changes in eating habits
- Frequent somatic complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or even vomiting
Parents should check with their pediatrician for any somatic complaints, such as headaches, stomachaches, frequent vomiting, changes in eating habits, and bedwetting. It is important to rule out any medical conditions before treating any mental health concerns.
Avoiding anxiety-provoking situations provides immediate relief, but only temporarily. Long term, the fear that initially led to avoidance worsens, and our brains learn that avoiding anxiety-producing situations makes the symptoms go away. As a result, the symptoms of anxiety will be worse next time, perpetuating the anxiety cycle.
Breaking the Return-to-School Anxiety Cycle
The Counseling Center at JCS has a few suggestions for breaking the return-to-school anxiety cycle:
- Don’t Keep Kids Home if They are Anxious: Attendance and consistency are important for overall mental health for all grades. Validate and listen to your child’s worries to help them feel secure. Don’t dismiss or avoid their concerns with “everything will be ok.” Highlight the good and fun times your child has had in the past. Role model stress management.
- Identify a Safe Space at School: Visit the school before the first day. Take a tour, meet the teachers, learn how to use a locker, and see where classrooms and bathrooms are. Rehearse the drop-off routine and practice walking to the classroom. Identifying a safe person and space within the school can help your child feel secure. It may also help to call the school and speak with the school social worker or psychologist about your child’s anxiety and your concerns.
- Create a Comforting Ritual with Young Children: Prepare young children before school starts by reading stories that talk about fears around starting school, healthy transitions, and ways to cope with anxiety. Create a personalized comforting goodbye ritual as part of the morning drop-off. Picture collages or notes of encouragement can also help.
- Establish a Sleep Schedule and Stick to It: Sleep hygiene often falls apart over the summer and on weekends during the school year. Encourage a consistent bedtime and sufficient sleep schedule for everyone in the household. For example, enforce a “devices down” policy by a certain time so kids have a chance to unwind from technology before bed. Sleep diaries can be helpful. According to the Sleep Foundation, “Strong evidence indicates that sleeping problems are not only a symptom of anxiety. Instead, sleep deprivation can instigate or worsen anxiety disorders.”
If problems persist or increase in frequency and intensity and interfere with their ability to attend and participate in school, you may need to seek professional mental health services. This can include Play Therapy, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or referral for assessment/testing for psychological, neurological, or learning disorders.
Please reach out to the Counseling Center at Jewish Collaborative Services if you would like to seek counseling for yourself or your child at 401-331-1244. Parents, caregivers, and legal guardians who find it difficult to break this cycle of anxiety for either their children or themselves are encouraged to explore if counseling will help you or your loved ones to better understand and manage anxiety for improved wellness.